Better Left Unsaid.

Its The Worst Kinda Pain You Could Ever Feel.

I Don't Think A Bullet Wound, Broke Limb, Child Birth Or Gettin Chopped With A Machette Could Feel Worse...

It Eats At You... Tears At Your Soul... Stabs You In The Center Of Your Chest...
Unyielding, Unrelenting Pain...

You Even Bleed... Yea, You Bleed. And Bleed... And Bleed... And Bleed.

Usually After A Certain Amount Of Blood Loss You Expect To Die. Free Of Suffering. Freed Of Pain & Misery... You'll Eventually Feel Peace.

But No, Not This Time. This Bleeding Isn't The Same... Cuz See, When It Comes To Emotional Pain, You Bleed From Your Eyes... You Bleed Tears...
And It Sux...

Cuz Your Tears Won't Let You Die.

Anti Matter...

I Dunno. I'm Just Writing Tonight For Really No Reason Whatsoever. I Dunno What I Wanna Talk About, But That Doesn't Really Matter. I'm Just Gonna Talk.

So Anyways, My Job Sux. I'm Ready To Quit. Marshalls Can Go And Shove A Stick Up It's Ass For All I Care. It's Time To Move On To Bigger & Better Things.
Just Wish One Of These Bigger/Better Things Would Give A Nigga A Call With A Job Offer.
I Digress.

Oh, Yea... Two Days Ago My First Pet Rabbit, Missy, Was Brutally Murdered By My Brother Braylon. He "Claims" He Didn't See The Rabbit Dart Towards The Garage As He Was Closing The Door And My Poor Bunny Was Trapped Underneath A Garage Door Suffering For The Better Part of 7Hours. Her Upper Body Trapped Inside The Garage & Her Backside Trapped Outside Of It.

I Found Her @ 3am And Relieved The Pressure Of The Garage Door From Her Back, But Clearly I Was Too Late. Her Back Was Broken & She Had Lost All Control Of The Lower Half Of Her Body. She Died Within 30mins Of Me Finding Her. It Was Kinda Sad.

My Little Bro Was Pissed & Thru A Damn Temper Tantrum, Which Prompted My Mother To Go Buy Him A New Rabbit. But No, Not Only Did He Come Home With A New Rabbit... He Came Home With TWO New Rabbits. Ellie & Grayson. Well, Those Were Their Names @ The Shelter... But I'm Moving Towards Babs & Buster. Or Bugs & Lola. Dunno Yet.

Either Way, I Don't Like These New Rabbits As Much. Missy Took To The Family In A Day. These Bastards Have Been Here Since Friday & Are Some Lazy, Scary Bitch Made Rabbits. They Can Take They Asses Back To The Adoption Home With Them Saddity, Stuck Up Attitudes. They Don't "Fraternize" With Humans I Guess. Uppity Bitches.

Anyway, I Guess I'm Gonna Head 2 Bead Now. Kinda Upset... A Lot's Been On My Mind Lately And For Once I Really Don't Have The Answer. I've Got A Couple Options Tho... I Think.

A) Move On From A Couple People.
B) Continue These Awkward Friendships.
C) Cut Em Off Completely (Yes, This Is Different Than [A])
or
D) Go All Out & Stregnthen These Bonds Tighter Than They Were Before.

There's Probably A Few Extra Options Available For This Situation, Which I Don't Feel Like Explaining. But Those 4 Are The Main Choices... Any Other Options Would Be Sub Branches Of The Above 4... I Think. Fuck It, I've Spent Too Much Energy On The Situation As It Is...

Anyways, I'm Hittin The Sack. It's Been A Long Day. One More Day Of Work & I Have The Whole Week Off Till Saturday To Relax. Yay Me.

Later Bloggers!

Flashback...

I Wish I Could Say I Was Alright.



I Wish I Could Smile An Authentic Smile Right Now.



I Wish That... I Wish That...



I Dunno WTF I'm Wishing For.



I Wasn't Even Gonna Blog On The Topic But I'm Upset.



My World Came Crashing Down In Seconds Juss Over 7 Hours Ago.



And I Dunno WTF To Say Or How To Feel.



Now I Feel Paranoid. Insecure. Vurnerable To Defeat.



Juss Not A Good Feeling. And I Haven't Been Able To Shake It.



U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied.

U FUCKING LIED

And I Dunno WTF To Do With This Situation.

Just Add Another Fucked Up Page To The Story Of "My Life".

Everytime I Picture U Two Together In My Mind I Fuckin Cringe.

Body Begins To Ache. Shut Mah Eyes. Just Kinda Collapse. Can't Even Finish My Fucking Meal.

I'm Sad. Angry. Upset. Distraught. Bewildered. And Heartbroken.

And It's All Because Of You...

Welcome To H-Town

So Yea... I'm Definently Out Of Cali For The Next Six Days. Mini Vacation To Visit The Fam Until Monday. Fresh Off The Plane, I'm Chillin In Tha Hotel Room Wit Mah Two KooKoo Aunties. My Cousin Doesn't Get In From Alabama Until 10:50am In The Morning So... We're Gonna Spend The Nite In Houston & Head To Beaumont(The City Where Mah Fam Is) After We Get Her In The Morning.

The Flight Was Smooth... Nonstop. Just The Way I Like It. All That Landing & Flyin & Landing Again Shit Is For The Birds. I'm Good. Met Some Nice Folks On The Flight. Made Some Connections... Possible New Career Moves lol. All Kinda Shit. So It Was A Good Day Spent @ LAX/Airborne/Houston-Hobby Airport.

Really Looking Forward To Spending 4th of July Weekend w/ Mah Fam & Mah Cousins. It Should DEFINENTLY Pop Off Ya Dig! Clubbin... Food... Amazingness Basically. LoL. Me & Mah Cousins Here Are Pretty Damn Close, Which Is Surprising Seeing As How We Only See Each Other A Week Or Two Out The Year. These Mah Niggas Tho! So Yea... I'm Excited. And Its Mah Great Granny's 80th Birthday This Weekend & We Throwin Her A Surprise Party... That Should Crack Too... Well, All Things Considered... lol

Ooooh! And Then I Can't Wait To Get Mah Hands On Sum Crawfish... Sonic Burger... Waffle House... Good Southern Cookin...
I'm Such A Cow. LoL. But I Love It!

Anyways... Its Pushing 1am CST... & I Definently Have Been Up The Past 48 Hours. Time For Some SLEEP!
Catch Ya Laterz Bloggers. Uno.

Playin Catch Up

OK Ummmm... This Was Originally A Video Blog But...

I Definently Shot It With My Face Not On Camera.
WTF. I'm A Retard.

. . . Moving On . . .

I Know This Is Late(3 Weeks To Be Exact), But Since I Hyped It Up In My Past Few Blogs I Felt The Need To Let It Be Know...

THE FUCKING "GLOW IN THE DARK" CONCERT WAS FUCCIN AWESOME!!!!

Here We Are 3 Weeks Later & I Probably Think Of It Everyday Or Every Other Day At Least.
Lupe Fiasco Killed His Set And He Was The Fuccing OPENING Act. Like It Was Good From START To FINISH.

I Don't Think I've Ever Rocked Out Like A Rockstar Till N.E.R.D. got on stage. THEM NIGGAS... lol. They Somethin Else. Thanks To Them, I Now Lead A Spaztastic Existance.
"SEEING SOUNDS" in stores now. Cop It. U Won't Be Disappointed!

And We All Knew Rihanna Was Gonna Kill Her Show. It Seemed Shorter Than The Other 2 Opening Acts, But It Was Still Cool. The "Don't Stop The Music" Performance Was Pretty Hott. She Added The Sexy Into The Show, Which Was Coo.

And Then We Have KANYE. Kanye Is KING of Performance. Like, He NEVER FAILS To Put On A Damn Good Show. From Start To Finish Just Perfect. And Of Course Lauren & I Are 5th Row. We Can See The Sweat Dripping From His Face.
Yea It's JUST That Serious.
Stronger Performed Live Is A Masterpiece And I Advise Everyone To See It. So Dope.
And He Had A Lil Mini Speech At The End Of The Concert. Like, You Think He's An Arrogant Asshole. He's Not. He's Just Confidently Doing His Job. After I Left Staples Center June 7th, 2008 @ Midnight... Lets Just Say I'm Now Pro-Kanye.

Good Fuccin Times...

Anyway, On To More Recent Events.

My Job Sux. I Hate It. I'm Looking For Another One... It's Not Going Well. Fuck.
I Really Wanted To Go Out-Of-State For College... Mom Changed Her Mind And Is Against Me Going And Doesn't Wanna Finance It. She Sucks For That & Now I'm Like, HELLA Disappointed. Not Trippin Tho. I'm Gonna Do Me & I'm Gonna Be Doin Me In a MAJOR WAY Very Soon. Stay Tuned...
And I Definently Have A Mini-Family Reunion In Beaumont, TX On Friday... And My Plane Leaves @ 4pm 2morrow (Wednesday)... And I Have Yet To Begin Packing.
And I Work Today @3pm... Mind U It's Like 3:20am NOW... lol. I Still Got Shoppin To Do And It's Just Like... Shit Isn't Coming Together At All.
FUUUUUUUCK!!!! Why Am I SO Last Minute!?

I Dunno.
Don't Really Care.

But Anyways, Like I Juss Said... Just Playin Catch Up With Y'All... I Promise To Post More Often Tho Folks. So Until Next Time, "B-Eazy"!

P.S.
The Long Awaited Sequel To Best Selling Novel, "The Coldest Winter Ever", By Sister Souljah To Be Released Oct. '08!!! Like I'm Fuccin CHEESIN Yall! Anybody Who Read That Book KNOWS How Big A Deal This Is!
It's Titled "Midnight" And I'll Assume It'll Be From His Point Of View This Time Around. Really Stoked About That! Let's See How This Unfolds Folks!

Oh & I Still Haven't Seen "Wanted"... Wonder How Good That Is?
And Can't Wait For "Hancock" This Weekend Wit The Cuzzos In Texas!!! Yea A Good Week Coming Up!