Invincible

So I'm Pretty Much Having The Best Night I've Had In Forever. I'm Just Hella Happy & I Don't Have The Slightest Clue Why. Man Its Actually Quite Incredible. Indescrible Even... I'd Say I'm Content, But How I'm Feelin Right Now Surpasses "Content" In Every Sense.

Woke Up & Washed My Car. Cleaned Up The House. Got My Haircut. Saw My Grandma & Aunties Today. Chilled Wit Sum Friends & My Bros.
Saw My BUDDY... ;)
All In All It Was A REALLY Good Day. But What I Don't Understand Is What Makes Today So Much Better Than Other Days That Went Smoothly? I Dunno. Maybe Its Best I Don't Understand. Asking Too Many Questions Of A Good Thing Is One Definite Way Of Killin The Mood.

So I'll Just Say Spending The Last Couple Hours With U... Then Talkin Wit Cha For Another Hour Before U Went 2 Sleep On Me(lol) Had Somethin 2 Do With Why I'm Feelin So Good.
Threw My I-Pod In My Ears & Now I'm Juss Chillin. And Anybody Who Knows Me Knows Music Is Pretty Much The Thing That Keeps Me Going. Slow Jams After Hours Just Puts Me In My Zone...
Can't Explain It. But Either Way. I'm Really Happy At The Moment.
So I'm Gonna Go Enjoy It For Another Hour Or 2 Before Bed....

So I'll Get @ U Guyz Later.
Night Bloggers!

Too Much Time On My Hands... OK, Maybe Just An Hour.

Well... In The Absence Of An Active Internet Connection, I've Been M.I.A. Or Whatever From This Blogger Shit. Don't Be Mad At Me, Blame Mah Mama For Not Payin The Damn Bill On Time. I Digress...

Anyway... I Dunno. I Been Doin Sum Heavy Thinking Lately. Just Thoughts Of My Life That I Don't Have The Slightest Idea What To Do With. I Got The Biggest Let Down Of My ENTIRE LIFE This Summer. Had A Dream Since I Was 5... And It Just Pretty Much Killed Me That It'll Never Happen.

"Its A Trip You Know. When You're A Kid, You See The Life You Want, And It NEVER Crosses Your Mind That Its Not Gonna Turn Out That Way."
-Love & Basketball

That Line Hits Me Everytime I Watch That Movie. Cuz Its So Damn True. When I Was 10, You Coulda Never Told Me My Life Would Be The Way It Is Now. I Woulda Never Believed It... Not Saying My Life Is So Damn Bad Cuz There Are People Who Are Way Worse Off Than I. But I Dunno. I Just Had All These Goals For Myself. And I've Basically Not Come Close To Attaining Them.

Like, I Dunno. When Shit Goes Wrong In Life, People(Myself Included) Tend To Look For Every & Anything They Can Blame For The Reasons Of Their Failures. When In All Actuality, They've Pointed A Finger At Everything Except The 1 Place Where The Blame Actually Reside. With Yourself. Like, I've Been Thinking. Can I Really Blame Anyone BESIDES Myself That Shit Didn't Happen In My Life The Way I Wanted It 2? Should I Blame The Employers That Didn't Accept My Applications? My Parents For Not Being There For Me The Way I Needed Them To Be? The Teachers For Not Passing Me? The Kids In School That Made Me Second Guess Myself & My Worth As A Person?

Naw... Its Really My Fault. I Didn't Sell Myself Hard Enough To Those Employers, THAT'S Why I Didn't Get A Call Back. I Didn't Believe In Myself Enough To Overcompensate For Where My Parents Didn't Believe In Me. I Didn't Pass My Classes Cuz I Didn't Care To Do Anything But Sleep In Class. And Its Definitely My Fault I Let The Attitudes Of Stupid Children Influence The Way I Felt About Myself In Junior High.

But As Of August 5th, 2008 I've Grown Up. I Gotta Man Up And Make Shit Happen For Me. Nobody's Obligated To Help Me In Any Way, Shape Or Form. Its All On Me And If I Continue To Post Up And Wait For My Clueless Parents To Assist Me In Becoming Successful, I'll Probably Be Sleepin On This Couch For Another 15 Years... Ain't Gon Happen Folks!

So With All That Said... Its Time For Me To Get Off My Ass & Go Get Thangs Done In The World. Big Ups To Blogger For Giving Me This Outlet To Express Myself From Time To Time. Writing My Thoughts Out Is Hella Therapeutic... So I'll Catch Yall Later Bloggers. Stay Up & Heed My Words. Get Up And Do Somethin Constructive Today. We In Our Primes & Gotta Get This Shit Poppin! 2morrow Ain't Promised So Get Up & Out & Make It Happen 2day!

Deuces!

(In Absence Of My Laptop, Todays Blog Is Brought To You By My T-Mobile Sidekick Lx! Available At All Major T-Mobile Carriers! LoL I'm A Fuckin Dork...)

Anti Matter...

I Dunno. I'm Just Writing Tonight For Really No Reason Whatsoever. I Dunno What I Wanna Talk About, But That Doesn't Really Matter. I'm Just Gonna Talk.

So Anyways, My Job Sux. I'm Ready To Quit. Marshalls Can Go And Shove A Stick Up It's Ass For All I Care. It's Time To Move On To Bigger & Better Things.
Just Wish One Of These Bigger/Better Things Would Give A Nigga A Call With A Job Offer.
I Digress.

Oh, Yea... Two Days Ago My First Pet Rabbit, Missy, Was Brutally Murdered By My Brother Braylon. He "Claims" He Didn't See The Rabbit Dart Towards The Garage As He Was Closing The Door And My Poor Bunny Was Trapped Underneath A Garage Door Suffering For The Better Part of 7Hours. Her Upper Body Trapped Inside The Garage & Her Backside Trapped Outside Of It.

I Found Her @ 3am And Relieved The Pressure Of The Garage Door From Her Back, But Clearly I Was Too Late. Her Back Was Broken & She Had Lost All Control Of The Lower Half Of Her Body. She Died Within 30mins Of Me Finding Her. It Was Kinda Sad.

My Little Bro Was Pissed & Thru A Damn Temper Tantrum, Which Prompted My Mother To Go Buy Him A New Rabbit. But No, Not Only Did He Come Home With A New Rabbit... He Came Home With TWO New Rabbits. Ellie & Grayson. Well, Those Were Their Names @ The Shelter... But I'm Moving Towards Babs & Buster. Or Bugs & Lola. Dunno Yet.

Either Way, I Don't Like These New Rabbits As Much. Missy Took To The Family In A Day. These Bastards Have Been Here Since Friday & Are Some Lazy, Scary Bitch Made Rabbits. They Can Take They Asses Back To The Adoption Home With Them Saddity, Stuck Up Attitudes. They Don't "Fraternize" With Humans I Guess. Uppity Bitches.

Anyway, I Guess I'm Gonna Head 2 Bead Now. Kinda Upset... A Lot's Been On My Mind Lately And For Once I Really Don't Have The Answer. I've Got A Couple Options Tho... I Think.

A) Move On From A Couple People.
B) Continue These Awkward Friendships.
C) Cut Em Off Completely (Yes, This Is Different Than [A])
or
D) Go All Out & Stregnthen These Bonds Tighter Than They Were Before.

There's Probably A Few Extra Options Available For This Situation, Which I Don't Feel Like Explaining. But Those 4 Are The Main Choices... Any Other Options Would Be Sub Branches Of The Above 4... I Think. Fuck It, I've Spent Too Much Energy On The Situation As It Is...

Anyways, I'm Hittin The Sack. It's Been A Long Day. One More Day Of Work & I Have The Whole Week Off Till Saturday To Relax. Yay Me.

Later Bloggers!

Flashback...

I Wish I Could Say I Was Alright.



I Wish I Could Smile An Authentic Smile Right Now.



I Wish That... I Wish That...



I Dunno WTF I'm Wishing For.



I Wasn't Even Gonna Blog On The Topic But I'm Upset.



My World Came Crashing Down In Seconds Juss Over 7 Hours Ago.



And I Dunno WTF To Say Or How To Feel.



Now I Feel Paranoid. Insecure. Vurnerable To Defeat.



Juss Not A Good Feeling. And I Haven't Been Able To Shake It.



U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied.

U FUCKING LIED

And I Dunno WTF To Do With This Situation.

Just Add Another Fucked Up Page To The Story Of "My Life".

Everytime I Picture U Two Together In My Mind I Fuckin Cringe.

Body Begins To Ache. Shut Mah Eyes. Just Kinda Collapse. Can't Even Finish My Fucking Meal.

I'm Sad. Angry. Upset. Distraught. Bewildered. And Heartbroken.

And It's All Because Of You...

Welcome To H-Town

So Yea... I'm Definently Out Of Cali For The Next Six Days. Mini Vacation To Visit The Fam Until Monday. Fresh Off The Plane, I'm Chillin In Tha Hotel Room Wit Mah Two KooKoo Aunties. My Cousin Doesn't Get In From Alabama Until 10:50am In The Morning So... We're Gonna Spend The Nite In Houston & Head To Beaumont(The City Where Mah Fam Is) After We Get Her In The Morning.

The Flight Was Smooth... Nonstop. Just The Way I Like It. All That Landing & Flyin & Landing Again Shit Is For The Birds. I'm Good. Met Some Nice Folks On The Flight. Made Some Connections... Possible New Career Moves lol. All Kinda Shit. So It Was A Good Day Spent @ LAX/Airborne/Houston-Hobby Airport.

Really Looking Forward To Spending 4th of July Weekend w/ Mah Fam & Mah Cousins. It Should DEFINENTLY Pop Off Ya Dig! Clubbin... Food... Amazingness Basically. LoL. Me & Mah Cousins Here Are Pretty Damn Close, Which Is Surprising Seeing As How We Only See Each Other A Week Or Two Out The Year. These Mah Niggas Tho! So Yea... I'm Excited. And Its Mah Great Granny's 80th Birthday This Weekend & We Throwin Her A Surprise Party... That Should Crack Too... Well, All Things Considered... lol

Ooooh! And Then I Can't Wait To Get Mah Hands On Sum Crawfish... Sonic Burger... Waffle House... Good Southern Cookin...
I'm Such A Cow. LoL. But I Love It!

Anyways... Its Pushing 1am CST... & I Definently Have Been Up The Past 48 Hours. Time For Some SLEEP!
Catch Ya Laterz Bloggers. Uno.

Damn.

Only 20 Years Old Man.

20 Fuckin Years Ago.

Never New Life Could Sux So Much. In Such A Brief Amount Of Time.

Different Kinda Pain. Totally Uncharted Waters. Gotta Grow Up. Quick.

I Love Somebody A Whole Lot. And I Hope You Never Forget It.

And Yea I'm Depressed. As Hell.

Hopefully 2morrow's Concert Will Put Me In A Good Mood. If Only For A Few Hours.

But Yea... Life. Sux.

Thoughts

OK, it's definently been a long week. And it's only Thursday. lol. It's like 3am and I was about 2 go 2 sleep but I decided to stay up a lil longer and give a blog cuz I haven't been on here in a few days or whatever. Anyways, moving on.

I had a long talk wit somebody who's really important to me today. Somebody I love with everything in me. And this talk has made me feel a lot better about who I am and the things going on in our lives right now. I got a better understanding of whats going on between us & I think that everythings gonna be alright.

Off of that shit, tonight was my last nite of work till AT LEAST Sunday or Monday. Which is awesome. Cause I was for damn sure getting sick of Marshalls and them lame ass customers. It's just been hell and I can't wait till I find somethin better and give them niggas the deuces. Marshalls can seriously blow me right about now. Like, real shit. lol

KANYE WEST!!! Saturday June 7th, 2008 @ Staples Center!!!!

I can't wait! Going with Lauren, my favorite scorpio ever. She introduced me to the wonderful world of concerts. She took me to my first concert ever which was the "Late Registration Tour" wit Kanye, Keyshia Cole & Fantasia... so this is sorta like a homecoming. I hear it's the hottest concert around and one of the best in years so I'm hella excited. Rihanna, Lupe & N.E.R.D will be there so that's pretty hot. Looking forward to it. I'll keep yall updated with how that turns out & such...

Oh. I met sexiness recently. The sexiest thing I've ever seen. And I love it. LOL

Goodnite!

Its Just One Of Them Days...

You know what. This sux. After a pretty pheonomenal week, Saturday gets here and I'm really really really irritated. And I have 0 clue why. I mean, I had a bad nights sleep but that's over & done with. After an initial bump, my morning went fine. But for whatever reason I juss feel stuck. Like, today is wacker than wack. It seems like the Bad Mood Energies from the depths of Hell have surfaced and decided 2 take refuge around me.

Damn.

I juss need a reason to smile real quick. Oh wait, hold on just a second. I think I found that reason...

I'll Be Off Work In 2 Hours!!!

And I don't have to return until Monday, which is still too soon. And its a Holiday. But shit, bring on the Holiday pay! Then I work again on Tuesday, but I think I'll be calling off... Six Flags & X2 are callin my name. Hmmm... then my Birthday's next Sunday (Big 20!) & Kanye West The Following Saturday. Maybe I do have some good things to look forward to. Lifes looking right in a major way right now. Minus one thing that's leaving me for a bit... hopefully it returns...

Four Simple Words That Completely Ruined My Day...

Maybe I should slow it down a bit. I dunno. This is a new situation. Something totally different than I'm used to. Not gonna go into detail but... I haven't been this confused in quite some time. Is this a waste of time... decent investment? Shit I don't know. I just wish these answers were easier to come by. I wish the future was more apparent and obvious. I don't like guessin games & I've never been one who knew how to "paitently wait".

Four words have pretty much thrown my whole day & psyche off. But I mean, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. And whatever happens after this moment. I will be 100% responsible for it's outcome, good or bad. Nobody to blame or thank but myself. And I'm cool with that. It's just this feeling of uncertainty. Not knowing whats gonna happen. It's all slightly overwhelming. Don't know what I'm gonna do just yet. But... I hope whatever I decide, I won't have to look back 6months from now pissed off thinking, "wtf did u do that for".

Only time will tell.

Life. Love. Insects. Etc. LOL

So... I have a feeling that my life is definently about to change in a major way. Life's funny that way. In the way that it never stops, something new is always happening. Whether welcomed or unwelcomed you can't stop living it. And it's just a trip. Anyways, May 20th 2008 was a good day. Not quite sure why... but it was. It made me think. And yall know I like to think! lol

But yea... I'm a pretty happy camper right now. Only thing that would make me happier is hurrying up into June. My Birthday is on the 1st! Then Lauren & I are hittin up that Kanyizzle Concert on the 7th! Good Times! Pretty excited about my life right now. So I mean, stay tuned & I'll keep yall posted blogers! Laterz!