Too Much Time On My Hands... OK, Maybe Just An Hour.

Well... In The Absence Of An Active Internet Connection, I've Been M.I.A. Or Whatever From This Blogger Shit. Don't Be Mad At Me, Blame Mah Mama For Not Payin The Damn Bill On Time. I Digress...

Anyway... I Dunno. I Been Doin Sum Heavy Thinking Lately. Just Thoughts Of My Life That I Don't Have The Slightest Idea What To Do With. I Got The Biggest Let Down Of My ENTIRE LIFE This Summer. Had A Dream Since I Was 5... And It Just Pretty Much Killed Me That It'll Never Happen.

"Its A Trip You Know. When You're A Kid, You See The Life You Want, And It NEVER Crosses Your Mind That Its Not Gonna Turn Out That Way."
-Love & Basketball

That Line Hits Me Everytime I Watch That Movie. Cuz Its So Damn True. When I Was 10, You Coulda Never Told Me My Life Would Be The Way It Is Now. I Woulda Never Believed It... Not Saying My Life Is So Damn Bad Cuz There Are People Who Are Way Worse Off Than I. But I Dunno. I Just Had All These Goals For Myself. And I've Basically Not Come Close To Attaining Them.

Like, I Dunno. When Shit Goes Wrong In Life, People(Myself Included) Tend To Look For Every & Anything They Can Blame For The Reasons Of Their Failures. When In All Actuality, They've Pointed A Finger At Everything Except The 1 Place Where The Blame Actually Reside. With Yourself. Like, I've Been Thinking. Can I Really Blame Anyone BESIDES Myself That Shit Didn't Happen In My Life The Way I Wanted It 2? Should I Blame The Employers That Didn't Accept My Applications? My Parents For Not Being There For Me The Way I Needed Them To Be? The Teachers For Not Passing Me? The Kids In School That Made Me Second Guess Myself & My Worth As A Person?

Naw... Its Really My Fault. I Didn't Sell Myself Hard Enough To Those Employers, THAT'S Why I Didn't Get A Call Back. I Didn't Believe In Myself Enough To Overcompensate For Where My Parents Didn't Believe In Me. I Didn't Pass My Classes Cuz I Didn't Care To Do Anything But Sleep In Class. And Its Definitely My Fault I Let The Attitudes Of Stupid Children Influence The Way I Felt About Myself In Junior High.

But As Of August 5th, 2008 I've Grown Up. I Gotta Man Up And Make Shit Happen For Me. Nobody's Obligated To Help Me In Any Way, Shape Or Form. Its All On Me And If I Continue To Post Up And Wait For My Clueless Parents To Assist Me In Becoming Successful, I'll Probably Be Sleepin On This Couch For Another 15 Years... Ain't Gon Happen Folks!

So With All That Said... Its Time For Me To Get Off My Ass & Go Get Thangs Done In The World. Big Ups To Blogger For Giving Me This Outlet To Express Myself From Time To Time. Writing My Thoughts Out Is Hella Therapeutic... So I'll Catch Yall Later Bloggers. Stay Up & Heed My Words. Get Up And Do Somethin Constructive Today. We In Our Primes & Gotta Get This Shit Poppin! 2morrow Ain't Promised So Get Up & Out & Make It Happen 2day!

Deuces!

(In Absence Of My Laptop, Todays Blog Is Brought To You By My T-Mobile Sidekick Lx! Available At All Major T-Mobile Carriers! LoL I'm A Fuckin Dork...)