Thursday, August 7, 2008

Invincible

So I'm Pretty Much Having The Best Night I've Had In Forever. I'm Just Hella Happy & I Don't Have The Slightest Clue Why. Man Its Actually Quite Incredible. Indescrible Even... I'd Say I'm Content, But How I'm Feelin Right Now Surpasses "Content" In Every Sense.

Woke Up & Washed My Car. Cleaned Up The House. Got My Haircut. Saw My Grandma & Aunties Today. Chilled Wit Sum Friends & My Bros.
Saw My BUDDY... ;)
All In All It Was A REALLY Good Day. But What I Don't Understand Is What Makes Today So Much Better Than Other Days That Went Smoothly? I Dunno. Maybe Its Best I Don't Understand. Asking Too Many Questions Of A Good Thing Is One Definite Way Of Killin The Mood.

So I'll Just Say Spending The Last Couple Hours With U... Then Talkin Wit Cha For Another Hour Before U Went 2 Sleep On Me(lol) Had Somethin 2 Do With Why I'm Feelin So Good.
Threw My I-Pod In My Ears & Now I'm Juss Chillin. And Anybody Who Knows Me Knows Music Is Pretty Much The Thing That Keeps Me Going. Slow Jams After Hours Just Puts Me In My Zone...
Can't Explain It. But Either Way. I'm Really Happy At The Moment.
So I'm Gonna Go Enjoy It For Another Hour Or 2 Before Bed....

So I'll Get @ U Guyz Later.
Night Bloggers!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Too Much Time On My Hands... OK, Maybe Just An Hour.

Well... In The Absence Of An Active Internet Connection, I've Been M.I.A. Or Whatever From This Blogger Shit. Don't Be Mad At Me, Blame Mah Mama For Not Payin The Damn Bill On Time. I Digress...

Anyway... I Dunno. I Been Doin Sum Heavy Thinking Lately. Just Thoughts Of My Life That I Don't Have The Slightest Idea What To Do With. I Got The Biggest Let Down Of My ENTIRE LIFE This Summer. Had A Dream Since I Was 5... And It Just Pretty Much Killed Me That It'll Never Happen.

"Its A Trip You Know. When You're A Kid, You See The Life You Want, And It NEVER Crosses Your Mind That Its Not Gonna Turn Out That Way."
-Love & Basketball

That Line Hits Me Everytime I Watch That Movie. Cuz Its So Damn True. When I Was 10, You Coulda Never Told Me My Life Would Be The Way It Is Now. I Woulda Never Believed It... Not Saying My Life Is So Damn Bad Cuz There Are People Who Are Way Worse Off Than I. But I Dunno. I Just Had All These Goals For Myself. And I've Basically Not Come Close To Attaining Them.

Like, I Dunno. When Shit Goes Wrong In Life, People(Myself Included) Tend To Look For Every & Anything They Can Blame For The Reasons Of Their Failures. When In All Actuality, They've Pointed A Finger At Everything Except The 1 Place Where The Blame Actually Reside. With Yourself. Like, I've Been Thinking. Can I Really Blame Anyone BESIDES Myself That Shit Didn't Happen In My Life The Way I Wanted It 2? Should I Blame The Employers That Didn't Accept My Applications? My Parents For Not Being There For Me The Way I Needed Them To Be? The Teachers For Not Passing Me? The Kids In School That Made Me Second Guess Myself & My Worth As A Person?

Naw... Its Really My Fault. I Didn't Sell Myself Hard Enough To Those Employers, THAT'S Why I Didn't Get A Call Back. I Didn't Believe In Myself Enough To Overcompensate For Where My Parents Didn't Believe In Me. I Didn't Pass My Classes Cuz I Didn't Care To Do Anything But Sleep In Class. And Its Definitely My Fault I Let The Attitudes Of Stupid Children Influence The Way I Felt About Myself In Junior High.

But As Of August 5th, 2008 I've Grown Up. I Gotta Man Up And Make Shit Happen For Me. Nobody's Obligated To Help Me In Any Way, Shape Or Form. Its All On Me And If I Continue To Post Up And Wait For My Clueless Parents To Assist Me In Becoming Successful, I'll Probably Be Sleepin On This Couch For Another 15 Years... Ain't Gon Happen Folks!

So With All That Said... Its Time For Me To Get Off My Ass & Go Get Thangs Done In The World. Big Ups To Blogger For Giving Me This Outlet To Express Myself From Time To Time. Writing My Thoughts Out Is Hella Therapeutic... So I'll Catch Yall Later Bloggers. Stay Up & Heed My Words. Get Up And Do Somethin Constructive Today. We In Our Primes & Gotta Get This Shit Poppin! 2morrow Ain't Promised So Get Up & Out & Make It Happen 2day!

Deuces!

(In Absence Of My Laptop, Todays Blog Is Brought To You By My T-Mobile Sidekick Lx! Available At All Major T-Mobile Carriers! LoL I'm A Fuckin Dork...)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Better Left Unsaid.

Its The Worst Kinda Pain You Could Ever Feel.

I Don't Think A Bullet Wound, Broke Limb, Child Birth Or Gettin Chopped With A Machette Could Feel Worse...

It Eats At You... Tears At Your Soul... Stabs You In The Center Of Your Chest...
Unyielding, Unrelenting Pain...

You Even Bleed... Yea, You Bleed. And Bleed... And Bleed... And Bleed.

Usually After A Certain Amount Of Blood Loss You Expect To Die. Free Of Suffering. Freed Of Pain & Misery... You'll Eventually Feel Peace.

But No, Not This Time. This Bleeding Isn't The Same... Cuz See, When It Comes To Emotional Pain, You Bleed From Your Eyes... You Bleed Tears...
And It Sux...

Cuz Your Tears Won't Let You Die.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Anti Matter...

I Dunno. I'm Just Writing Tonight For Really No Reason Whatsoever. I Dunno What I Wanna Talk About, But That Doesn't Really Matter. I'm Just Gonna Talk.

So Anyways, My Job Sux. I'm Ready To Quit. Marshalls Can Go And Shove A Stick Up It's Ass For All I Care. It's Time To Move On To Bigger & Better Things.
Just Wish One Of These Bigger/Better Things Would Give A Nigga A Call With A Job Offer.
I Digress.

Oh, Yea... Two Days Ago My First Pet Rabbit, Missy, Was Brutally Murdered By My Brother Braylon. He "Claims" He Didn't See The Rabbit Dart Towards The Garage As He Was Closing The Door And My Poor Bunny Was Trapped Underneath A Garage Door Suffering For The Better Part of 7Hours. Her Upper Body Trapped Inside The Garage & Her Backside Trapped Outside Of It.

I Found Her @ 3am And Relieved The Pressure Of The Garage Door From Her Back, But Clearly I Was Too Late. Her Back Was Broken & She Had Lost All Control Of The Lower Half Of Her Body. She Died Within 30mins Of Me Finding Her. It Was Kinda Sad.

My Little Bro Was Pissed & Thru A Damn Temper Tantrum, Which Prompted My Mother To Go Buy Him A New Rabbit. But No, Not Only Did He Come Home With A New Rabbit... He Came Home With TWO New Rabbits. Ellie & Grayson. Well, Those Were Their Names @ The Shelter... But I'm Moving Towards Babs & Buster. Or Bugs & Lola. Dunno Yet.

Either Way, I Don't Like These New Rabbits As Much. Missy Took To The Family In A Day. These Bastards Have Been Here Since Friday & Are Some Lazy, Scary Bitch Made Rabbits. They Can Take They Asses Back To The Adoption Home With Them Saddity, Stuck Up Attitudes. They Don't "Fraternize" With Humans I Guess. Uppity Bitches.

Anyway, I Guess I'm Gonna Head 2 Bead Now. Kinda Upset... A Lot's Been On My Mind Lately And For Once I Really Don't Have The Answer. I've Got A Couple Options Tho... I Think.

A) Move On From A Couple People.
B) Continue These Awkward Friendships.
C) Cut Em Off Completely (Yes, This Is Different Than [A])
or
D) Go All Out & Stregnthen These Bonds Tighter Than They Were Before.

There's Probably A Few Extra Options Available For This Situation, Which I Don't Feel Like Explaining. But Those 4 Are The Main Choices... Any Other Options Would Be Sub Branches Of The Above 4... I Think. Fuck It, I've Spent Too Much Energy On The Situation As It Is...

Anyways, I'm Hittin The Sack. It's Been A Long Day. One More Day Of Work & I Have The Whole Week Off Till Saturday To Relax. Yay Me.

Later Bloggers!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Flashback...

I Wish I Could Say I Was Alright.



I Wish I Could Smile An Authentic Smile Right Now.



I Wish That... I Wish That...



I Dunno WTF I'm Wishing For.



I Wasn't Even Gonna Blog On The Topic But I'm Upset.



My World Came Crashing Down In Seconds Juss Over 7 Hours Ago.



And I Dunno WTF To Say Or How To Feel.



Now I Feel Paranoid. Insecure. Vurnerable To Defeat.



Juss Not A Good Feeling. And I Haven't Been Able To Shake It.



U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied. U Lied.



U FUCKING LIED


And I Dunno WTF To Do With This Situation.


Just Add Another Fucked Up Page To The Story Of "My Life".


Everytime I Picture U Two Together In My Mind I Fuckin Cringe.


Body Begins To Ache. Shut Mah Eyes. Just Kinda Collapse. Can't Even Finish My Fucking Meal.


I'm Sad. Angry. Upset. Distraught. Bewildered. And Heartbroken.


And It's All Because Of You...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Welcome To H-Town

So Yea... I'm Definently Out Of Cali For The Next Six Days. Mini Vacation To Visit The Fam Until Monday. Fresh Off The Plane, I'm Chillin In Tha Hotel Room Wit Mah Two KooKoo Aunties. My Cousin Doesn't Get In From Alabama Until 10:50am In The Morning So... We're Gonna Spend The Nite In Houston & Head To Beaumont(The City Where Mah Fam Is) After We Get Her In The Morning.

The Flight Was Smooth... Nonstop. Just The Way I Like It. All That Landing & Flyin & Landing Again Shit Is For The Birds. I'm Good. Met Some Nice Folks On The Flight. Made Some Connections... Possible New Career Moves lol. All Kinda Shit. So It Was A Good Day Spent @ LAX/Airborne/Houston-Hobby Airport.

Really Looking Forward To Spending 4th of July Weekend w/ Mah Fam & Mah Cousins. It Should DEFINENTLY Pop Off Ya Dig! Clubbin... Food... Amazingness Basically. LoL. Me & Mah Cousins Here Are Pretty Damn Close, Which Is Surprising Seeing As How We Only See Each Other A Week Or Two Out The Year. These Mah Niggas Tho! So Yea... I'm Excited. And Its Mah Great Granny's 80th Birthday This Weekend & We Throwin Her A Surprise Party... That Should Crack Too... Well, All Things Considered... lol

Ooooh! And Then I Can't Wait To Get Mah Hands On Sum Crawfish... Sonic Burger... Waffle House... Good Southern Cookin...
I'm Such A Cow. LoL. But I Love It!

Anyways... Its Pushing 1am CST... & I Definently Have Been Up The Past 48 Hours. Time For Some SLEEP!
Catch Ya Laterz Bloggers. Uno.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Playin Catch Up

OK Ummmm... This Was Originally A Video Blog But...

I Definently Shot It With My Face Not On Camera.
WTF. I'm A Retard.

. . . Moving On . . .

I Know This Is Late(3 Weeks To Be Exact), But Since I Hyped It Up In My Past Few Blogs I Felt The Need To Let It Be Know...

THE FUCKING "GLOW IN THE DARK" CONCERT WAS FUCCIN AWESOME!!!!

Here We Are 3 Weeks Later & I Probably Think Of It Everyday Or Every Other Day At Least.
Lupe Fiasco Killed His Set And He Was The Fuccing OPENING Act. Like It Was Good From START To FINISH.

I Don't Think I've Ever Rocked Out Like A Rockstar Till N.E.R.D. got on stage. THEM NIGGAS... lol. They Somethin Else. Thanks To Them, I Now Lead A Spaztastic Existance.
"SEEING SOUNDS" in stores now. Cop It. U Won't Be Disappointed!

And We All Knew Rihanna Was Gonna Kill Her Show. It Seemed Shorter Than The Other 2 Opening Acts, But It Was Still Cool. The "Don't Stop The Music" Performance Was Pretty Hott. She Added The Sexy Into The Show, Which Was Coo.

And Then We Have KANYE. Kanye Is KING of Performance. Like, He NEVER FAILS To Put On A Damn Good Show. From Start To Finish Just Perfect. And Of Course Lauren & I Are 5th Row. We Can See The Sweat Dripping From His Face.
Yea It's JUST That Serious.
Stronger Performed Live Is A Masterpiece And I Advise Everyone To See It. So Dope.
And He Had A Lil Mini Speech At The End Of The Concert. Like, You Think He's An Arrogant Asshole. He's Not. He's Just Confidently Doing His Job. After I Left Staples Center June 7th, 2008 @ Midnight... Lets Just Say I'm Now Pro-Kanye.

Good Fuccin Times...

Anyway, On To More Recent Events.

My Job Sux. I Hate It. I'm Looking For Another One... It's Not Going Well. Fuck.
I Really Wanted To Go Out-Of-State For College... Mom Changed Her Mind And Is Against Me Going And Doesn't Wanna Finance It. She Sucks For That & Now I'm Like, HELLA Disappointed. Not Trippin Tho. I'm Gonna Do Me & I'm Gonna Be Doin Me In a MAJOR WAY Very Soon. Stay Tuned...
And I Definently Have A Mini-Family Reunion In Beaumont, TX On Friday... And My Plane Leaves @ 4pm 2morrow (Wednesday)... And I Have Yet To Begin Packing.
And I Work Today @3pm... Mind U It's Like 3:20am NOW... lol. I Still Got Shoppin To Do And It's Just Like... Shit Isn't Coming Together At All.
FUUUUUUUCK!!!! Why Am I SO Last Minute!?

I Dunno.
Don't Really Care.

But Anyways, Like I Juss Said... Just Playin Catch Up With Y'All... I Promise To Post More Often Tho Folks. So Until Next Time, "B-Eazy"!


P.S.
The Long Awaited Sequel To Best Selling Novel, "The Coldest Winter Ever", By Sister Souljah To Be Released Oct. '08!!! Like I'm Fuccin CHEESIN Yall! Anybody Who Read That Book KNOWS How Big A Deal This Is!
It's Titled "Midnight" And I'll Assume It'll Be From His Point Of View This Time Around. Really Stoked About That! Let's See How This Unfolds Folks!

Oh & I Still Haven't Seen "Wanted"... Wonder How Good That Is?
And Can't Wait For "Hancock" This Weekend Wit The Cuzzos In Texas!!! Yea A Good Week Coming Up!